Ten Common Full-Time Employee Illnesses

1. The "Macy's One Day Sale" Flu.
   
2. The "Drivers License Renewal Appointment" 24-Hour Virus.
   
3. The "Friday-Afternoon-Start-The-Weekend-Early" Sudden Unbearable Stomach Pains.
   
4. The "I'm Looking for a New Job and I Don't Know How Long It's Going to Take, but I Want To Stay On The Payroll Until Then" Mysterious Infection.
   
5. The "My Boyfriend's Got the Week Off So Suddenly I'm Too Contagious To Come In To The Office" Disease.
   
6. The "I Need a Hair Cut and My Stylist Doesn't Make Evening Appointments" Bout of Influenza.
   
7. The "There's No Federal Holidays for Two Months and I Want a Day Off" Sickness.
   
8. The "It's Spring Break and I Want To Pretend I'm a Teenager Again" General Ailment.
   
9. The "I've Messed Up Royally and I Won't Come In To Face the Music" Terminal Illness.
   
10. The "I Really Am Sick and I've Got The Doctor's Bills and the Completed Medical Expense Reimbursement Forms to Prove It" Infirmity.

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